I was really excited to see this dance performance at school.  I walked into the PAC auditorium and was shocked to see all the people who were there.  It was very crowded so I was forced to have a seat in the back.

            The dance started.  Wow! These dancers stink, I thought to myself.  The girl up front on the stage was blonde, very skinny, and could use a little more clothes.  As I begin to look a little closer, I realize it is Morgan!  Why is she up front?  She doesn’t dance, I thought.  Oh I know, they put her up front because all the guys like to look at her therefore they won’t pay attention to all the other horrible dancers.

            After a few minutes, Morgan starts stripping.  MORGAN! I scream in my head.  NO NACKEDNESS!

            I look to my left because I could not bear to watch my best friend strip.  As I look to the left, I see Tristen Maholic.  He was not just sitting there watching the show; no, he was making out with a bunch of girls at the same time.

            Finally, the stripping scene is over and the dancers come off stage.  I realize Paul was one of the dancers.  I give him a hug and tell him he did a good job, although he and the rest of the dancers were some of the worst dancers I had ever seen.

            The next act comes onto the stage.  It is Justin Bieber!  All the girls who were making out with Tristen left him and went to the front of the stage to get the closest view of Justin Bieber as possible.  Talk about annoying.  The girls screaming at the top of their lung was more pleasant to the ear than Justin Bieber’s voice.

            After the concert, I was standing around talking to people when Justin Bieber’s dad comes to get him.  Man, he’s fat, I thought.  Then I heard someone ask him, “How far a long are you?”

That’s rude.

“About six months,”

He looks dead serious, bet he must be joking.

“So you decided to have the baby because your wife couldn’t?”

He’s a jerk.

“Yeah, I’m due May 10th.”

Ok I can’t handle it.  I have to find out the truth.  “Excuse me, not meaning to be rude, but are you really pregnant?”

“Yes I am.”

Weird, I thought.  I just turned and walked away.  Men can get pregnant! That means I don’t have to be.  If my husband in the future wants children, he’s gonna be the one to have them.  No way am I.  I don’t even like kids.

No way all this can be real, I thought. Morgan a stripper, Tristen having a make out session, Justin Bieber at a school dance performance, and a pregnant man all in one night.  There is no way this is real!

About a minute later my suspicions were reaffirmed when my alarm went off.  Oh my goodness that was so weird!  I thought. I guess it means that I will have to have children myself then.  MAN!

Zach Piatt
4/13/2011 09:04:45 am

...man getting pregnant...justin bieber...moorgan stripping...paul dancing...WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!!

Mollie McDonough
4/19/2011 10:51:10 pm

Yeah, that was a really wierd dream that I actually dreamt. The sad part is, that really was my first thought when I woke up.


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